The other day I was asked to give one reason why I would encourage someone to meditate. After some thought, I responded that it invites us to observe our present moment experience without trying to change it. Sure, every attempt won’t be successful. Especially when you consider the menu of distractions that tend to appear while practicing. For me, judgment seems to be of particular preference. I feel a pain in my leg. A bead of sweat rolls down my back. An insect crawls on my hand. There’s always a reason to break concentration. Once I judge the experience, my instinct is to change it and while change shouldn’t be seen as a negative aspect of life, it’s the forcing of change that often disrupts peace and lengthens the lesson.
Meditation is an ancient practice where we redeem already revealed truths but now for the first time. It grants us access to the Kingdom of God and all of its rewards. Chief among these rewards are peace and abundance. Unfortunately, along the way, we begin searching for these rewards in every place but their location. Here’s a secret, that’s not a secret because you already know this and I’m merely reminding you:
The Kingdom of God is within you.
And you can take that to the bank because Joshua, a friend who I later found to be a brother, told me. Joshua ben Joseph revealed a lot about our experiences during his three years of service to the people. To be honest, while the gift in this “secret” is readily available to all, it is difficult to open. Don’t trip though—I think I can provide some relief.
Aight so boom. You in a relationship.
One day, you use your lunch break to pick up the new book from your favorite writer. Unbeknownst to you, today your universe collides with another—the genesis of your love story unfolds.
You purchase the book and check the time because you have to get back to the office to prepare for a one o’clock meeting. It’s 12:34 PM. Remembering you didn’t have time to get coffee this morning, you get in line at Starbucks and tell yourself, “The line isn't that bad.” While waiting, you notice a beautiful human who just purchased the same book and overhear them order your favorite drink precisely how you order yours:
"I’ll have a venti White Chocolate Mocha. Six shots of espresso, four pumps of mocha syrup, 12 packs of raw sugar, hold the whipped cream, add espresso whipped cream, with a dash of cinnamon."
At this point, you can’t credit this to a crazy coincidence. Deep down you know it’s not crazy or mere coincidence—it’s serendipity. Though bewildered, you muster enough confidence to walk over. You say the first thing that comes to mind, "I feel like I've known you forever." You think how peculiar that must sound and release a bashful chuckle. Wittily, you salvage the introduction, "I don't think we've met before." They're amiable; they blush, smile, and introduce themselves. "Hi, I'm [insert name of choice]. Nice to meet you again."
The rest is history.
Three years, five months, and seven days have passed, but it doesn't feel like it. That's because the gravitational pull of love curves space and time, destroying the illusion that separates us from eternity. Y’all are connected. Like any two things that collide, there is an impact. Surface-level perception views the nature of this collision as chaotic. Such is the case when overlooking the intricate details in haste.
In your relationship, this looks like a quirk your partner has that you were once able to ignore but is now causing some sense of discomfort. An annoyance suddenly derails your pleasant experience, and in keeping with the prevailing tendency of human nature, you begin to judge. Your partner is no longer an independent being with whom you share love, but a project that you must change.
Queue music and begin the dance of maintaining the balance between intimacy and autonomy.
“Sometimes the most loving thing a person can do is take a step back: that’s distance in the service of attachment.”
The moment you transition from loving your partner to changing your partner, your expectation should be vexation. By forcing this change to occur, we become invasive. Intimacy morphs into animosity. Egos emerge, and the slow painful death of your relationship ensues. The good news is: this need not be. Like meditation, by slowing down and paying attention to the experience, the beauty of the relationship reveals itself. On the mat we discover the benefits of detachment in self-relationship, soon we learn that it is often appropriate in our most significant connections.
In performing this service to your partner, the opportunity to turn your gaze inward naturally presents itself and the Kingdom of God becomes visible. Once we go beyond viewing the Kingdom of God and make it our dwelling place, we receive the rewards of citizenship: abundance, compassion, intimacy, kindness, peace, self-awareness and pleasurable service.
However, this requires a practice whose outcome is integrity. On integrity, Rabbi Harold Kushner offers this clear definition, “Integrity means being whole, unbroken, undivided. It describes a person who has united the different parts of his or her personality so that there is no longer a split in the soul.” As fully integrated beings, connecting mind, body, and soul, and living in spirit and truth we become ambassadors of peace; gods, in our own right. The tendency to judge fades and we begin to allow.
Meditation can help us achieve this state. But, don't just take my word for it. Consistent throughout all spiritual texts is the principle of DIY. For example, in Buddhism, you are encouraged to “see for yourself” and make your own decisions about what makes sense to you. Then, in Christian literature, you are told to "work out your own salvation" [emphasis on "work out" i.e., practice, exercise, develop a discipline]. After all, it is you who will inherit the fruits of your actions, good or bad.
Join me on the mat, and together we can visit the Kingdom of God. It’s a beautiful thing.