Self-love does not come easy for everyone. Lawd is I'ma witness.
Learning to navigate a world that considers your mere existence a threat and recovering from relationships with people whose actions may have suggested that you weren't worth it, are exhausting and emotionally demanding tasks. The practice of loving, honoring, and being gentle with yourself takes deliberate effort and prioritization.
I’m learning that self-love is a daily practice, a choice to be made in every moment. For that reason, my practice begins as soon as I wake up.
I sit up at the edge of my bed,
plant my feet,
take three deep breaths,
gather my surroundings,
greet myself and perform my recitation:
“Welcome to today! Don’t be good my nigga, be great.”
Then, I make my way to the bathroom, and when I get to the mirror my natural inclination is to critique myself. You know how it goes? You magnify all of your flaws and shortcomings while failing to recognize the many things that make you worthy of praise. Confronting the man in the mirror often serves as a catharsis for me. I behold myself, free of judgment, free of critique, free of expectations and I give myself the love that I often felt cheated of. One day, I looked in the mirror and resolved to love myself like I knew no one else would. I understood that, finally and absolutely, I was responsible for my happiness. Too often was I willing to give up that power, and more often than not, the results were the same:
I was broken,
my innermost parts
left spoiling in the sun.
each time I pieced
myself together again
much stronger than before.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t have my off days or experience times where I exist outside of the moment. It just means that I’m more conscious about the things I say to myself and aware of the thoughts I give my energy to. These days, when I look in the mirror, I build myself up and speak words of life into my being. It usually goes like this:
- Relax, flow, and be cool. The Universe got you!
- I release my need to impress others, I have nothing to prove.
- You are enough.
- I am beautiful and handsome.
- I am free to explore the law of potentiality.
- I will practice detachment while remaining connected in love.
- Because I love myself, I have an obligation to be the best version of myself that I can be.
Be willing to work at loving yourself, just as hard as you’ve worked at not liking yourself. Let go of self-hate and behaviors that are not consistent with the reality you are creating. Know that you are loveable and capable of giving and receiving love.
What are some of the things you’ll tell yourself in the mirror?